Sacrificial Waffles and Muffin Top Building

Hey, you wanna hear something gross? It’s been a week since Christmas, and you know what I just found while doing some post-yuletide cleanup? Santa’s half-finished glass of milk hiding amongst the countertop nativity scene! Oh that’s nasty. Thankfully enough though, Jesus is all about forgiveness. So he didn’t really put up a big stink about it.

Every now and then, when my wife’s day off from work lands on the weekend, I like to make breakfast for her and the boys. Usually, the main dish is either scrambled eggs, Aebleskivers (a Danish sphere shaped pancake), or waffles. For some reason, I never caught pancake fever. Maybe because of the ever changing selection of commercially available pancake mixes at the store and their poor quality. Maybe I should look into finding a recipe this year. I’ll have to talk about it with a psychiatrist one day, along with my lack of enthusiasm for professional sports.  I keep hoping both teams involved in the Super Bowl will lose the game, but every year, I’m disappointed to see one team going home with the trophy, while the other keeps the agony of defeat all to themselves.  How cool would it be to see them both lamenting over their failure in the post-game interviews, all covered in sweat and grime?  “Well” says the commentator, “another Super Bowl come to pass, and no winner!  Guess we’ll have to see if anyone can pull it off next year.  Back to you Josie.”

Moving right along, often as I’m cooking any type of breakfast pastry, I’ve found that the first one off the grill is rarely worth eating, usually either due to the fact that the iron wasn’t heated to the right temperature, or maybe there was a little something on it from last time. So it’s right into the trash with it. We jokingly call it “the sacrificial waffle” in my house.

This post is my sacrificial waffle of sorts. I’m entirely new to this blogging scene. I know blogging was catching on before Facebook (FB) became popular. Part of me thought at that time that we had seen the end of it. But with the FB scene getting worse and worse, part of my New Year’s resolution for 2016 is to trim down my visits there to twice per month. Ironically, I have my blog set up to share my posts on FB as they are cranked out twice a week so my friends can easily click them. Ha ha! You can’t win for losing!  Or can you?

Most people who create a blog do so with a solid theme locked down, and hopefully a really catchy reason to get you to read it. I have one friend who writes one on all things related to letter writing. Her blog is tied into her stationery business and letter writing club. Another friend is a travel writer who has authored his own book.

Upon realizing at the urging of loved ones that I needed to write something, I asked myself what my guiding inspiration and purpose would be if I were to take it up. I have one whopping year of college education. I don’t own a business. I haven’t seen much of the world compared to many friends. Being physically disabled, I’m not going to be talking anyone through training for the Strongest Man in the World competition. What am I going to write?! Certainly not a page on proper punctuation; and nothing brings a smile to my face like a little known poor grammar usage in search of all the English teachers out there.

There are a handful of things in life that are very real to me, first of all, my family. I have a loving wife. Together we have three young boys, who are growing up faster than I’d like. Second, my faith. I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, called by many, the “Mormon” church. I believe “in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost” to quote the first article of faith.  It’s a big motivator and guide in the way I live my life.  Of course I love learning about other beliefs and cultures as well.   Third, I have two spinal injuries gained while doing Army physical training (my most recent career), as well as severe depression and anxiety which definitely combine to make life more challenging. Lastly I have an odd, musty sense of humor, and I often call upon it to help me hold life together.

Other blog writers pick any one of these subjects and write their entire blogs on it.  In these times, everything has been done before.  But rather than focusing on any one of these ideas, I’ve decided to bring out all of them. In years past, a small percentage of my FB friends even read my posts there. It’s likely even less will follow this blog because of the greater scale of words found here compared to what they’re used to reading on other social media.

Foreseeing this possibility, I’m at peace with it. I never was one for popularity contests, and I’m not in this to make any money. Maybe writing this blog will lead me into a professional future as a writer of some kind.  Or perhaps one night at a family party, my brother will slap me on the back and say, “Hey Jeff, remember that one time you started a blog?!  Ya, I read all three of your posts, and I really thought you had a good thing goin’!  Haa haa haaa!”   Even if five people read it for a peak at the strange thing that is my life, and the other three for the occasional funny one-liner, it’s going to be fun. I look forward to the possibility of being able to share deeper findings of life and going on new adventures.

Now I just need an original cheesy closer to throw in at the end. How’s this one? Don’t forget to eat your waffles! Nine out of ten professional muffin top builders attest to the fact that they are what so quickly brought them to fame and glory!  Ooooh, muffin top building!  There’s something I could write a blog about!

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